Hell week (but finally chemo!!)

I think it is clear that things are clearly awry because the one thing I was really looking forward to this week was my chemo.  At least, I would get to sit still for 5 hours.  No responsibilities—peace and quiet. And, as I sit here, I was right.  Certainly the imposed rest is a good thing.  For those who just want the medical facts, read here.  For those who want a summary of my really bad week, read on.

The week has been just incredibly hectic and has defeated me on many levels. This has led to me making stupid errors, which have been compounding. If we were living in our home on Miramar, if we didn’t have a young, very needy, very active Jack Russell terror, if Leslie was here and not in LA tending her Dad after his heart surgery, if I had consistent communication (phone and wifi), I think this week would have been ok.  Instead, it just was too much for me.  I—it turns out—have limits.

Some of the stupid, avoidable stuff: 

·      a fender bender (Doug’s truck) on Monday

·      cops waking me up in the middle of the night at Doug and Laura’s house because a neighbor called thinking that a burglary was taking place.  (It had to do with a garage door problem); they were in Yosemite.

·      a verbal fight with my tenants, leading to a sleepless night.

·      Spent an hour last night looking for the dog’s harness...Ellie ‘found’ it in the morning on the kitchen counter in plain view. (This was an example, but there were lots of these all week.)

Some of the stressors:

·      cell phone doesn’t work at the new house—it’s a dead zone except for in one little echo-filled room at the front

·      a friend that I have been assisting with her finances—and other things—went to the hospital and I can't stay in the loop in a helpful way.  Very frustrating.

·      wifi woes all week, so I am way behind on internet-related matters

·      mail woes—I can’t get the postal service to cancel the current change of address to create the new ones

·      moving into a new, unfurnished house

·      getting all the stuff out of Doug and Laura’s—and the place reasonably clean—before they returned from Yosemite.

·      Four medical appointments

·      Ziggy!!!!  I love her to death, but it is really hard to get anything done unless she is dead to the world.  That requires lots of walking and running.  Which requires lots of time.

The internet is a huge stressor for me and there is no way around it.  I have too much going on that is me—stuff that makes me happy, feel alive, feel like I am contributing—via the internet.  It is not something I can or will “take a break from.”  Taking a break from it makes me crazy.  Unhappy.  Fills me with cortisol.  So, I might spend a lot of time at Safeway – 24/7 free wifi, no purchase needed… AT&T hasn’t really been able to fix the problem. They came yesterday and are coming again today.

What has saved the week has been all the support I have gotten from everyone.  Thank you all so much!  And, if we have talked on the phone when the dog is there, sorry for the conversation.  If you haven’t experienced it, this is an example:

You:  So when are you getting your internet?

Me:  Um…Be a good girl. Don’t bite.  No. Not you, sorry.  The dog… Don’t bite. No. Don’t bite. Good girl. Wednesday.