I mean up to the point that my treatment started, there were lots of interesting and new things. Got to meet a lot of people. Got a lot of love and caring and had the capacity to really appreciate it. Had plenty of energy. Yes, last week was not good in many ways, but I was still "me"—just the anxious version.
Today, I am not me. Tired. Listless. But, I am up for watching movies. I just watched "What About Bob?" Well, Ellie watched it and I slept through it. But, I saw a few key scenes. I only plan to watch things I know so the sleeping won't matter...
Anyway...
Hang in there, Baby. Make friends with who you are right now even if it is not someone whom you recognize. It is a great mindfulness practice. As you lie down, in bed or in a chair, feel - for example - the sheets touching your skin. Pay close attention to this sensation or your own breathing: in and out, in and out. Whenever your mind wanders and begins to tell you that you are not the same person, gently bring yourself back to the sensation of the blanket or sheets on your skin or your breathing. You are the witness. You are the one who knows that you are alive. I love you.
ReplyDeleteWe love you Robin McDuff... just keep reading and watching movies. If you want some suggestions for reality shows I'm full of them. You can sleep right through them and catch up the next week when they say "last week on (add reality show here)...".
ReplyDeleteAnd watch upbeat things if you can. It helps the mental attitude you need to stay strong. I couldn't read much; I didn't have an attention span for much. Sleep, sleep, sleep and take care of you. Glad that Leslie's coming home. xoxo
ReplyDeleteBig hugs Robin. May I suggest Buffy the Vampire Slayer? They have it streaming on netflix.
ReplyDeleteHey Robin.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work. Remember the GIRO starts on Saturday. Nothing like watching some skinny bike racing freaks to make you feel better.
Steve and Nancy
Thanks all for your helpful comments. Yes, we do need to continue Buffy (only made it through season 2) and certainly need to watch the Giro. I can sleep during that while Leslie is enthralled...
ReplyDeleteFor watching things that sleep won't interrupt may I recommend Rick Steve's Travels through Europe. I realized it is one of my favorite things to pop in right before bed because it has no plot and is rather soothing.
ReplyDeleteSending you all kinds of love!
Update: We are powering through Buffy, and Leslie is going to stream the Giro (and I am sure that will involve me at some points).
ReplyDelete